Kontera Tag

Sunday, October 5, 2008


Sloshy here. The Cap'n is having some trouble accessing the blog and posting, so until we figure out what the problem is (he's a drunken idiot,) I'll be posting his stories for him.

Last night, I called him up around 9:30 to see if he knew who we had in today's race pool. I'm itching for another victory so I can by myself some new shoes or a fabulous purse. Here is how the conversation went:

Cap'n: (unintelligible loud noises, sound of phone being dropped) pshhhello?
Sloshy: Hey man - any idea who we have in the race pool tomorrow?
Cap'n: Absolutely not! Hole on...HEY! Whose does wese have in race pool? Oh. Yeah, don't know.
Sloshy: Okay, we'll figure it out before the race.
Cap'n: See you tomorrow. Click.

I had been planning on going out to Chubby's for a quick beer to see him, but at that point decided he wouldn't remember if I did or not, so I stayed home. Amazingly enough, he called me at 9:30 this morning, sounding rather chipper. Here is his story:

Cap'n here. Last night when I got home, my sister and her friends were trying to watch Baby Mama. For some reason it wouldn't play. Even in my polluted state, I figured out the problem. It was a Blu-Ray DVD, and they were trying to play it in a regular DVD player. When I pointed that out, my sister grabbed the DVD, went back to the store, and returned minutes later with, you guessed it, yet another Blu-Ray disc. I decided to sort this problem out my self and took the disk back to the store.After several minutes of stumbling around, unable to find the correct section, I wobbled my way up to the cashier and silently held the disc out to her. Here is our conversation as I remember it.

Cashier Chick: You've got to be kidding me!
Cap'n: blank stare
Cashier Chick: After all the times they've been in here trying to fix this, you're they're best hope?!
Cap'n: 'Fraid so.
Cashier Chick: grabs the correct disc Are you okay to drive?
Cap'n: Absolutely not.

Thinking back, it would have been a lot funnier if I had returned home with a VHS.

Signing off...

Both of us

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Weekend Winnings

Sloshy here, wanting to update you kids on what the Cap'n and I have been up to.

In a nutshell: drinking. We won the pot in our local race pool on Sunday (I'd like to thank Carl Edwards for hitting the wall coming out of turn 3 at the Kansas Speedway, allowing our driver, good ol' Number 48, Jimmie Johnson to cruise past for the checkered flag.) What did this mean?

Well, Jimmie Johnson won a ton of money, and the Cap'n and I won...well, a lot less, but enough to keep us in beers for the week...providing they're cheap beers.

Signing off...


Thursday, September 25, 2008

The International Debut!

So, I'm sure everyone is wondering what this is all about. Is it for sharing breakfast recipes? Perhaps a gay dating site based on the two guys in the title bar?

Well, I'm here to tell you: yes and yes. But it's so much more. It's going to also cater to the general publics' demand for hilarious stories of drunken antics and full frontal nude pictures of Leonard Nimoy.

I'm sure anyone reading this probably knows me. I'm JT of Spork Nation. You probably have read about my friend Cap'n on one of my The Idiot Speaks posts I used to write, most notably this one. Also, the Capn' calls me "Sloshy" and he and I once drunkenly planned to open a breakfast-only restaurant, which we were going to name, you guessed it, Cap'n Sloshy's Breakfast-O-Rama, because we were drunk and it's my goal in life to own a business with the words "-O-Rama" at the end.

So that's what this is. Expect us to start posting next week, and have a great weekend. We'll be getting drunk so we can provide further material for you.

Signing off...


Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Get Ready, America...

This shit goes LIVE on Friday. Be there...or don't. We don't give a fuck.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008